Mods, Sods, and Quizzes

Michele! Try MSN. Can't use AIM....

2004-01-20T23:17:00.000-08:00

And to all you other folks out there, I've moved here. I join the LJ crew!

So, I lied.

2004-01-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

Not Single anymore. Sorry ladies. Still with my lovely Mika. By her choice and mine- together. It worked until I walked into her house in the middle of the night. ^.^ by her request and my insistence.

Ladies! Get your Resumes ready.

2004-01-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

So it all becomes clear, to you and I. MIchele and I are breaking up. You'll see her again, RPers. but not for a while. Until a) We both get over it. -We cried a ton tonight- or B) We're back together. I will hope beyond all hopes that B shall happen, but I am most prepared for an A until a B is possible. I love her. I have never been so sure of anything than I have been of that. I may pray that we can't make the break up last longer than a week. WE have strong strong feelings for each other. We just need to grow up. I've changed too much and she hassn't changed enough is about the best way to put it. I don't mind, if this really is true love then we will come together again, and if not I count on her as one of my only friends to give me the love and support I need each day. Tomorrow I may get up and forget that we have broken up, tomorrow I may forget this as if it were a dream. I hope that if I do tomorrow, it becomes the truth.
BUt jsut in case, and any girls around my age are interested in a relationship that is planned for the longest term, then here I am offering. I don't know if I'll be able to find one as understanding or as perfect or like her- I know I won't. I don't know if I'll die married. At least I won't be a virgin. And that's all I'll say of that, going off to take a shower and then cry myself to sleep in the stages of denial. Hope it happens to all of you someday too, just so you know what this feels like. I may spit up blood, but don't worry, I'll manage somehow, falling back into a plastic version of myself.

I (do not) Quit.

2004-01-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

The Roleplaying Group: I have been thinking about quitting. The case seems very strong. For the duration, I have been playing an annoying pixie. An annoying pixie as a character. It seems that I have been given the personality of my character and am not thought of as another player, but only that idiot in the corner who does random things. Some people, LemonKitty and "William" actually seem to understand this, but I cannot say this for the rest. I have tried to win some sort of acceptance into the group, but I am constantly put out, isolated. I am not afraid to admit it's hard for me to make friends. It's even harder for me realise that the people I believe are friends are actually not accepting me at all. Week after week I come and I play, and am left out only added as an afterthought. Feelings like these led to my recent decision to abandon my character, in favor of a new, serious one. Some angst thing going on. It would be simpler for me to give up, and leave- to wuit the group. But I cannot do that, it would loose to much of me, of who I am today, and the way I work. I'd have to start over from scratch. This feeling only became realised when my girlfriend, whom I dearly love, found acceptance into the group when I haven't been able to. She's been able to connect, and I never have. Due to this, she says she won't be coming back. Note that this is not my fault or my choice, as even though I am very jealous, I am working to get over these feelings by having her control her life which is the way it NEEDS TO GO. She only went last time because she promised food. Now I may feel the need to shout an insult there, but for the sake of civility and because I don't want to be estrange any further, I won't. So don't expect her to show up again, although I told her I really shouldn't care and want her to make her own choices. I however, refuse to let the idiocy of isolation beat me back. I want to go and have fun. I want to have input, I want to be considered a real member in the group that last summer Nathan and I initiated, with the accompanement if Zac and Jeff. It started from a never occuring BESM campaign, if one remembers correctly, and only changed into Eternity from there. We love the game, we all do. It would just work better if we all could be considered equals. Humans isolate others. I have always tried (and constantly fail, I admit) not to fall into that shortcoming, but into a more advanced and different one.

AQUiz,Becuase I fell like Crap

2004-01-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

0. What is your name? Harrison

1. Nicknames: SurrealMod, Surry, Jimmy, JimmyCooper, AceFace, Hdude999, E. Steele, Elizabeth Steele, And one's I'm too embarrassed to say <.<

2. Birthday: May14th, 1987

3. Age: 16

4. Sex: Male.

5. Where do you live? In a cold, cruel, and modern world.

6. What school do you attend? Crescant Valley, though I may start skipping it altogether

7. Siblings? Younger Brother (13-4?) Spencer

8. Any Pets: Dog- Ceberus. Cats- Rascal, Spitfire Bunny- Ranchan

9. Zodiac Sign: Taurus

10.Righty or Lefty: Wha? Well, I suppose I'd rather play left field if I had to. Far left. Like, off the field entirley.

*********YOUR LOOKS*********
11. Hair color: Dark Blondish? I dunno.

12. Eye color: Some Sorta Blue

13. height: Dunno.

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses. Soon to be John Lennon or Tommy Chong glasses. (Free Tommy Chong!)

15. Do you have any piercings? ICK. Ick ick ick ick ick...

16. Do you wear any rings? No. Sometimes I wear one around my neck, with a cross. Not often.

17. Do you have a certain fashion you follow? Semi-Mod. But more like the Who the hell cares about me anyways fashion.

**********JUST LATELY***************
18. How are you today? Mmm.

19. What pants are you wearing right now? Dress pants.

20. What shirt are you wearing right now? Who T-shirt

21. What does your hair look like at the moment? Shit.

22. What song are you listening to right now? Nothing.

23. How is the weather right now? Miserable. I'll have to go to fucking school tomorrow.

24. Last person you talked to on the phone? Michele.

25. ? Wheres number 5?... I'd help butI'm lloking for the bridge. (Bonzo: Where's dat confounded bridge?)

26. Who are you talking to right now? No one. Not a single soul. I don't matter right now.

27. What time is it? Time to feel ...empty
**********More about YOU!**************
28. What are the last four digits of your phone number? three-fifths of four-ninths.

29. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Burnt Sienna. Dull and useless, like myself.

30. Have you ever almost died? Of Lovesickness.

31. ----this was deleted so one less question---- Umokay.

33. What's the next CD you are going to buy? Dunno. whatever.

34. What's the best advice ever given to you? Love IS the answer.

35. Have you ever won any special award? When I was really little and not a loser.

36. Worst sickness you ever had? really sick after I fell outta a bus and had to get stitches.

37. What's the stupidest thing you ever done? Falling in love. Also the greatest.

38. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why? My teeth, becuase I don't takecare of them at all.

39. Where do you shop the most? Borders, music stores. You know.

41. Son's name? Attan.

42. Daughter's name? Holly. Cassidy. and Rachel.

43. Do you do drugs? I need to geta perscription for some anti-depression drugs, so soon I will.

44. Shampoo? Don't care.

46. What are you most scared of? Being left alone.

47. How many TV's do you have in your house? 1. But the computer can be used as one.

48. Do you have your own tv? No. I can't watch bad godzilla movies at all hours of the night.

49. Do you have your own phone line? No, sadly.

50. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? If I slept cuddling around anything, it would be Mika.

51. Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone? Cracked my head when I was two... that count?

52. Who do you dream about? Wierd Stuff.

53. Who do you tell your dreams to? Tain.

54. Who's the loudest friend you have? Zac.

55. Who's the quietest friend? My Self-Image. I don't think it likes me.

56. Is cheerleading a sport? No. But College cheerleaders look good.

57. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Letseee. 1, 2, *crunch*

58. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? An animal like a chicken layed a chicken egg. Andby that point, wouldn't a chicken egg be a chicken fetus? So a chicken-egg would've come first.

************YOU and LOVE**************

59. Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Yes.Oh god, how I do.

60.Do you have a crush? Michele.

61. Who is your crush? Michele.

62. Did you send this to your crush? She sent it to me. ^.^

63. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? The world. Travel acrosss the world.

64. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Smile, Eyes.

65. Do you find yourself attractive? Not in the least.

66. Do you find yourself ugly? Not really...

67. Do others find you attractive? I doubt anyone but Michele.

*********FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT **************

77. Sandals or shoes: I don't care.

78. Painted nails or not: Ick. Whatever they want I suppose.

79. Cute n' mysterious or wild n' sexy: She's Both.

80. Dark or blonde hair: Who fucking cares?

81. Long or short hair: Whatever.

82. Curly or straight hair: don't care. prefer straight

83. Dark, light, or crazy cool eyes: I'll like it if they are cute.

84. Long or short nails: Short.

85. Hat or no hat: hat's are for us guys.

86. Good or bad girl: Either.

87. Hair up or down: down down down down down. Or up, in a pontytail. Mmmm... ponytail.

89. Tall or short: Don't care.

90. Accent or no accent: No accent. Unless she's Asian. terribly racist of me, sorry.

91. Pants or dress: I wear pants.

92. Tan or fair: I DON'T CARE

93. Glasses: Why not?

94. Freckles or none: In moderation

95. Shy or outgoing: Shy, the Introverted Extrovert. Like Me.

96. Funny or always cool: Funny. coll sucks.

97. Talkative or shy: Shy then warms up.

The distinguishen goes to me

2004-01-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

Today, is a big day for all Corvallis teenage bloggers. Includingthose at some version of the Sticxs river. Becuase today, School is cancelled. You hear that devil? Cancelled. It's all becuase God and I had a little chat last night. He won't let me drop out, but there shan't be school until my novel is finished. BUt the real news is that it snowed again andso school isi a distant memory.

feeling like shit, but oh well. So here's a quiz.

2004-01-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

Birds Chirping: Sweet and mellow, you are the
familiar and pleasant sound of birds chirping.
You are very down to earth and love the
outdoors. You show a love for simple things,
like the quiet whisper of the wind and the
crackling of the fire. You make people feel
secure and are a great friend. (please rate my
quiz)

What Sound Are You?(now w/ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

He Doesn't know who Jesus was or what praying is....

2003-12-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

how can he be saved? from the eternal grave?

Good Morningand Happy Christmas to all of you. I think I might givea rant but no I wont: I already have.
How bout a list?
1) Three DVD Set: Ben Hur, Casablanca, and Gone with the Wind. [Said I'd never watch the last. Now I'll never live it down.]
2) Custom tailored dry suit, for diving. Tech Suit- prior owner an instructor.
3) 1 ride cymbal to replace craked crash/ride.
4)Bar of Soap with money inside.
5) Route 66 board game.
6) Book by Mickey Hart of the Grateful Dead
and the best:
7)Day with Michele, yesterday. All snuggling, all cozy and wonderful. Topped off with a gameof Dnd, for awhile, Me Dm, her Pc.

Great Christmas. And Yesterday was the best Eve ever: got to spend it with someone I really love.

Tommy doesn't know what day it is...

2003-12-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

And so here it is, my freinds. Christmas Eve. Hope you have some hope and joy this time of year, what with Orange terror Alerts or some such bullcox. Because they'll strike Alaskan Oil, the Gazette Times says. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men and all that: Have we blown each other to death yet? I'm sure they'll wait until the least amount of people will die. even fanatics must have some sense of honor, of compassion for the human race. I think even Charles Manson might have some. I mean, he did like the color of Blood, and santa's suit is red. Get the connection? Not that it matters when Bun-Bun takes over Christmas. We'll have a great time, then I'm sure. Like eating Rabbits for Thanksgiving. I think Christmas Story might be on, which is a good movie involving a ladies leg shaped lamp and a bb gun shooting a kids eye out. Classic Comedy. Slapstick and Not. Always funny. Maybe the real, cartoon grinch is on. with the song the way Dweezil Zappa learned it to cover. Woah! I haven't even read the famous poem. Oh well, a lamer AP kid read it in class and did a horrible rendition. I know a bit more about poetry than anyone else in there. I am the Poet Prophet. I am E. Steele.

Sex and Skiing

2003-12-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not hiding, just be gone for a short time Good for some people I am being told, good for Tain and I too. I'll make the best of it, though it is forced. or Try. All anyone can ask is that I try. I'd much rather stay in little old boring as hell corvallis and face people hating me than go off skiing. And I'll reiterate points made on Our Sex Blog and Nayno's Blog. Sex isn't bad, but it's not always good either. It can be bad, but when people choose it for themselves between the two and come to an understanding, then it is great. Healthy. It's when they don't that you have to be a bit worried. I don't think they communicate as well as others. Don't worry chums, there's only one thing you have to remember: Life is a cabaret!

2003-12-20T23:31:00.000-08:00

This is not a rant. I've done two today but there's something that needs to come to everyone's attention:

RADIOACTIVE PANDA

2003-12-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

No one won the last 'contest.' Shows how outta touch you all are. Into all kinds of music that isn't as important. Me, I'll take ELP covering Mussorgsky before I take Britney Spearscovering Rolling Stones or (shock and horror and disgust) Martha reeves and the Vandettas classic 'Dancing in the Streets'. The Stones and The Who and the Grateful Dead covered it, but that's becuase they were born from that rock- born from the rock is dead period after the Big Bopper, Buddy Holly, and Richie Valens died in that plane crash Don Mclean sings about (When it's not a loveletter to Jesus). I'd rather hear Procal Harum, as intended, while reading 'Restaurant at the End of the Universe', than some washed up pop ban such as blink 182- at least PH makes an effort to keep each song original and fresh, keeps branching out for new styles. The defense is that it rests in the vocals: not if you like Good Charlote, or any of these punk bands. They sing high becuase they are just as nuetered as N Sink and Backstreet Boys. If Pop is to be about the sing, why is it not back to black rythum and blues and soul singers? Aretha Franklin is supposedly the prototype diva, but she also has a voice. A voice much better than anything- anything- offered in pop. (or'New Rock' if you just want to kill rock and roll.) And another thing 'Pop' should mean 'Popular', rather than what has been shoved down your throats every other hour becuase it's reported high becuase stations play it frequently. And yes, that's exactly what they do, I heard it from Roger Shannon over at 106.3, KLOO FM as I toured the facilities. Maybe I could respect pop just a little bit better if the artists drove it- if the musicians (weak as they are) got to choose how everythings sounds. But today we have seen the return of the producer-king, the major label the corporations into the ring of music. Everything that honest and hard working musicians attempted to get rid of with all prior developed genres. (even punk which I dislike, but cannot condemn.) Here's the thing: Rock is dead. It shall never go anywhere again. Blues is on the comeback- if the drummer would just learn how to play the marvelous colorful set. I wouldn't mind it were so small if it were Max Roach- he knows how to get all the sound out of three drums. Apparently whasshername from the White Stripes doesn't.Finally we come to Jazz: this is the sound we can return to, in some form. even if we use the clumsy ska and punk guitar, if it's backed by well played dooon-doon-doon-doon's on thebass, and tch-t-t-tch's on the drums, with some saxophone or vibes or whatever else is cool, (Not cool like we use it but Jazz cool, as in "Hey cat, those hot chops you got's is way cool." There have always been really a handful of music style- first there is Popular, which now means"Producer Chosen" then there is Rock which is independant, innovative, and musician's choice driven. Jazz and Blues and classical are the last, being traditional. the first two are the american musical culture, as is rock. Funny howit should all come from the African Americans, when all we came up with was too much twang called 'country'. And Country now throws itself into the Pop category. It had a shiny chance with the great Johnny cash, our Man in Black.
The point of the rant? It is time for a new style, blending the better styles together. I shall lead this, and look mainly to Jazz. Fusion Jazz, as I am reared and raised on rock, but let us all go out to Borders or wherever, and Raid every section but 'Pop Rock' and 'Country and Western'. Go, friends, for Bluegrass, Blues, Classical, Jazz, Funk, Soul, R+B (The real, old kind, not the new 'hip hop' bull. That's different. It's [Rap, etc.] is also a subsection of 'Pop', nowdays anyways.), A Capelle- Just stay away from the radio's choice: despite what you may think, you have no say in it: it's whoever sends the radio the most complementary albums.

so here's the contest:
Next line to this song:
"Down at the Astoria,
The scene was chaning,
Bingo and Rock were
pushing out x Rating,
We......

Go!

2003-12-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

SAD? Maybe. Depression Perhaps... We'll see. And if I'm fine in the spring I know that I suffer from living in the Pacific Northwest.

2003-12-17T06:29:00.000-08:00

Spoiler: They cut the scourge of the shire. Other than that it was classic.

2003-12-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

*singing* Lord of the Rings! doon doon! Return of the King! doon Doon. Midnight showiiiing! doon doon. TONIGHT!!! TONIGHT! We'll destroy the ring tonight!

Anywho, I'm being taken up to Portlandfor some reason, I think. Then I come back crash for a few more hoursand then for three and a half magical hours I sit in a crowded theatre in the early morning...
Sop today I willbring the last book to school along with Harvard Lampoon's classic Bored of the Rings. Featuring Frodo, Gimlit, Pepsi, and all your favorite parody names.

*still reeling from bastardization of Helm's deep*
NO FRICKIN ELVES!

2003-12-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

Tieth will from now on NOT ask me for rides. It is his responsibility to arrange his own transport without involving me or those I love in his life. If he gt downtown himself he can get home himself. While some trust him, I can't as I've seen the way he manipulates people, the way he tears them apart. If my Girlfriend has to stay simply becuase it's easier for parents to give xxx a ride, and I get fucking dumped into my own car alone stuck with fucking boy scouts aI cannot fucking trust her as much as I really really want to. It's foolish restlessness, and selfih I know, but He is only trustable when he puts on the air of being so. He should only be take as charles manson might be. Who knows where he will end up. Though pissed off and unintelligeable right now my mind is in a state where I can only say I hope he dies.

Mika, I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry that I'm in a bad way. I'm also sorry that you worried about him more than me. I thought I was the one you loved. I thought maybe just maybe you could help me when I'm down. But I see you don't give a shit about me at all.

2003-12-11T17:14:00.000-08:00

Hmm... My family computer now has a copy of Itunes, for some reason. Blah. I'll file share instead. After all they taught me to share in preschool.

2003-12-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

Nathan once asked me about a communal blog thing. I'd say yes if I thought any of us would post with frequency. None of this circle- the Nayno-Teith-LemonKitty-Surry circle- would, well, post frequently enough. Which is why I countered with creating an underground literary journal. I would publish it and distribute it at school, or wherever. Of course I'd need donations so I could continue to print the volumes. I suggest it when created- becuase eventually it shall be- is to be called 'Revolution Nouveau' which is the main focus. To bring forward a new artistic and literary movement. And since I am bold enough to say it: I shall spearhead the project. Like Breton and his Surreal popehood, I shall be the Goddess (Yes, Goddess. Goddess' don't have to be female. Faeries don't have to have wings. Deal with it.) of the movement. All it needs is a purpose or unpurpose, a coolness or uncoolness- the rebellious air. Dickinson-like unconvention or Poe-like adherence to form.And then I can be in fame in relative anonymity. LikeWeb-Comic artists. I have no clue what Fred Gallagher looks like in the real world. I have some about Greg Dean, but that's okay, becuaseit's not like I would swoon over meeting him. John Kovalak however.... Almost as good as Russel Crowe, or even better, Johnny Depp. [I realise these are guys- and I am straight- but em>still!!!<. If I found myself to be gay, I'd have a huge crush on those two.]
The Revolution Nouveau is about to begin.

2003-12-09T12:44:00.000-08:00

"Here we all are, Sitting in a Rainbow...
Cor Blimey, Hullo Missus Jones, How's yer Berts Lambago?"

There might be a prize for whoever can guess the great and famnous song that if I have my music facts straight topped the US chart for a short time, but about 11 weeks in Britain. I know the Who released the single Dogs to compete with it's longing for a simple, easy yesteryear. What with "There was nothing in my life bigger than booze, There was nothing in my life biger than booze. 'Cepting you, little darling, 'cepting you, little darling...What a happy couple you and me, with a greyhound on each knee." And so forth.
'Dogs Two' was an instrumental, featuring dogs barking (Kieth Moon, I believe. He sang in 'Dogs'- He CAN SING, remarkably, but only with an accent. His version of 'When I'm Sixty-Four' is the greatest ever. It was done for the movie, All This and World War Two. Box ofice flop. I still say it deserved a video release over the tragic Mae West film Sextette. Despite what she might've believed, you can't be a sex symbol at eighty years of age. The best part of that movie, of course, was Keith Moon playing a fashion designer. Stereotypically gay, of course, but it was 'marvelous.' Ringo Starr was in Sextette as well, though he wanted not to be. He walked in the first day, took one look, and offered to pay NOT to be in it.
(All this information has been memorized from Tony Fletcher's book. It's called Dear Boy, over on the isles where it was writ, but simply Moon in your United States of America.)

So...Back to the original question... You'll get a lil' something if you can answer correctly. What famous band from the late 1960's and early 1970's wrote the lines that began this post?
-From the same song "I'll sing you a song with no words and no tune, sing at your party while you suss out the moon, oh!..."-

And what is the songs name?

Answers in by Thursday. I'll have something prepared then.

2003-12-09T06:32:00.000-08:00

sorry about that last post chums. Ignore it, it's only me wallowing in angst. Fuck Angst.

2003-12-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

People in general, barring a few- the people who deserve to live- have been mean to me lately. Teasing me and trying to steal my money (At the lunch line, no less- by the student worker) I know this is just being a whiney bitch, or so the trolls mightsay. But people have just been bugging me. Following me, tripping me, pulling my hair calling me names, etc. It's seems like the whole world hates me or is out to get me. Paranoid, I know. But it's just that sometimes I feel the walls are going to cave in and I'll implode. And I'm not famous yet. Hell, I've been asked 'Has any one ever told you you were ugly?'. My answer internally is 'I told myself'. Stupid old world.

2003-12-04T21:53:00.000-08:00

It's time for Surrealmod to teach a few good words to colour your language.
the first is zaftig. as in 'My girlfriend, is a zaftig Goddess.'
-zaf�tig or zof�tig (z?f t k, -tg) adj. 1. Full-bosomed. 2. Having a full, shapely figure-
The second is videlicet. just imagine a Welshman* saying it- it's latin. Shakespeare did in his best comedy, Merry Wives of Windsor.
-vi�del�i�cet (v -d l -s t , v -, w -d l -k t ) adv. Abbr. viz. That is; namely. Used to introduce examples, lists, or items.-
and finally two that should be defined for American's who may not know this: (Shame on you, go watch Quadrophenia!)
Mod
adj : relating to a recently developed fashion or style.
n : (British) a British teenager in the 1960s; noted for their clothes consciousness and opposition to the rockers.

Rocker
2: (British) a British teenager in the 1960s who wore leather jackets and rode motorcycles.

(I have been known to express anti-rocker sentiments, and it used to be quite often. thank god we don't get many here, or I'd be much more violent than I am.)

*I may be Welsh, I don't know, becuase America is a supposed mixing pot... but if so why do my hands turn purple? Why do I have white skin while my best friend (position currently being replaced by a best friend and love- or Maybe I can have two...) is black. he's half white- but he looks all black. He'll never be able to play the 'Substitute' from the who song, though his children might. Anyways, the point is we Americans look back at our heritage in other nations becuase we realise we have nothing of our own: Quite like romans, we borrow and steal our culture. We haven't even had a decent decade since the early 70's: at least people thought new things then.

2003-12-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd post this, though I doubt if I'll ever get exactly what I want, which this is right about. Of course, being in love means I can get over those things- and I'm not sure about that first one: who know's, I'm still a minor in the eyes of the Law.

my style of love is:

AGAPE

To me, love is chaste and selfless and spiritual.

what's your style of love?
| mewing.net. where love goes to die.

More quizzes here, as I must keep with the name of my blog.

My pickup line is:

Can I pick your butt?

what's your pickup line?
| mewing.net. hey, baby.

find YOUR drag persona

and go to mewing.net. where all the men wear skirts.

Alright, enough of that.

2003-12-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

In Shinto weddings, as I would have with Mika (Though we are not ready and most likely will not be together as long as I dream- though I try.), there is a Matchmaker who is basically the person who arranged for the marriage. Carrie, er. Rainmagess would take that honor. Plus it get's rid of the whole best man thing that comes all to common in Ranma fanfiction. [I god damned know Ryoga would be the best man, but who plays the matchmaker? Write a fanfic with a shinto wedding of Ranma and Akane. that's original.] I'm opening up here, more so than usual. The ysay that arrange marriages don't work out, and set up relationships don't. Why then did they for so long. I see other relatinships and I think, holy shit! I must be doing something right. Not many people seem to stay tied up as long as I've been blessed. Now, outwardly I am depressed sometimes but I love life and most of all, her. Other relationships, the ones that were arranged in the traditional way (guy/girl know/like each other already) seem doom'd for disaster. Seeming happy but fraying nerves. And I will leave this rant with a thought by Ogden Nash a great poet from Madison Ave:

"The Lord in all his infinite wisdom made the fly,
and then forgot to tell us why."

2003-12-03T15:53:00.000-08:00

Hello world. Posting. You know I once tried to write in c++, with one of those builder things. I got as far as scripting 'Hello World'. To my main point. I have started writing poetry rants tat are forming into a book and an album. The album will probably be along the lines of Jim Morrisons 'AN AMERICAN PRAYER', and will feature music throughout. I'll do the drums, I reckon. Jeff on Bass. Guitar? Maybe none, Maybe Andrew Becker. Might Work. So far, the book/album started as only one rant then mushroomed into two, and I felt it had the potential to become a book one poem disjointed. It all follows the same theme. At first it was called 'Inspired but Incoherent', and now it flows more to 'E. Steele's Message' which is the most common theme. The I am Messiah Poet Priest Prophet thread keeps returning and no doubt will continue to do so. maybe a 150 page book, maybe 237. somewhere in that range. I have a project now. I like projects.

2003-12-02T22:48:00.000-08:00

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-12-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

Now this shuould be coming from Nayno, but he's dead now. Fuck Angst. Oh wait, he said 'Screw' in his infamous first rant... Why then has he been the most angst ridden of all of us? Anyways, I'm told I'm always negative- I am, outwardly. But my inward part see's beauty of most things in nature and is quite content with it's place. I have ups and down's, even a light case of SAD, but as long as some yin-yang is preserved I do fine.
I used to read the comics, everday. I don't anymore. I have no clue what's happening in Foxtrot, Zits, et. al. There is one however that I read every week. (two so far) Opus! Here's to Mr. Berke Breathed for returning to us. I stopped reading the comics- I forgot really- one day in late September? early October? one of those? I thought I'd have a bad day, but then I was introduced to Michele. One of the best days of my life, even better than meeting Mario Andretti. Better than meeting 'Dawg' or Gregg Bisonette. It set me through many ups and downs, some angst, but I've realised to through that to the wind and enjoy everything now. I may come off as a pessimist, but deep down inside me there's an odd purple hippo that loves you all. (Sparknotes told me so.)
Etain: he has all my angst now. I channel it to him, and he will go insane because of it. Thank god he doesn't exist on this plane.
Peace y'all.

2003-11-29T22:48:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I had the wierdest feeling. My right arm was taken over posessed if you will. It felt strong for lack of a better word. When I place the feeling it was like I thought Paul Bunyan must have felt. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

2003-11-29T00:07:00.000-08:00

B34r!!!
Megatokyo.....

2003-11-28T17:27:00.000-08:00

This is a post just to post. bleh, you know gotta say something but can't form it in your mind so you type out a sentence then go 'fuck that' and then you start over. meanwhile you browse the web for some sort of inspiration. In the end you find you've spent twenty minutes to an hour doing nothing when you could be building strength in something you need. Like wrists, for drumming.... yeah.....

2003-11-27T20:12:00.000-08:00

alright folks: here's my review of the Russel Crowe *SWOON* movie, Master and Commnader, about a ship and a ship fighting. it's about honor and mutiny, suicide and meaningless death. It's about duty and promise.
most of all, there's only one thing the objective critic can say to the movie: it was quite real.
And now the sumed up version of what an english essay on the beauty of the movie might look like: it is the classic tale of the hunter becoming the hunted becoming the hunter again. We find that with compassion and friendship 'Lucky Jack' can overcome anything, however he loses friends acting under duty. His sense of honor and allegience is stronger than almost any, and he does not suffer the corruption of power: he only leads following without questions the orders given him. This almost causes mutiny many times, but in the end Jack triumphs, and defeats the biger ship in a religous sense: many times the movie references the bible, and in the end daring and bravery save the day rather than any wit. David and Goliath. Genuis.

Personal oppinion: Kinda gross, very real. No stance pro or con.

2003-11-26T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling alone lately, except at nights when I can talk to she who makes it all right. I know I'm not alone, with her by my side: Michele, I once more publically declare my love, my love.

2003-11-25T18:42:00.000-08:00

over at secretblogofsecretness.blogspot.com, I might start posting poems, it might become my poem posting site. just a thought though... if you go and theres a good design, then I have started working on it.

2003-11-25T14:49:00.000-08:00

Ah...I suppose I should comment about something, or below..
Ya know? No.

2003-11-24T21:04:00.000-08:00

Michele...
I pour out m ou here, and so other people are going to know.
You said you hate me.
This is the worst fucking thing ever, and I'm going to fucking hurt myself... not physically no...
It's justyour trying to bring drama to yourself because of a hard life.
I'm fucking cryingdying sick to my stomach.
I need you, Love you...I can't help it.
Please, for whatever greivance, DON't HATE ME...It's getting awful ,bad, pain and anxiety......
Don't leave me...

2003-11-23T08:28:00.000-08:00

I had some bad, fucked up dreams last night. I won't go into details, becuase they really really scared me- not a screaming scare, but an emotional scare. And then this morning, I perused the site for the Gus Van Sant film, Elephant, which our own Jeff had a small part in. (Specifically, you can see his Afro in one scene.) The Film follows an ordinary day...except it isn't. It's a movie about school shootings. Andseeing the trailer reminded me of the only movie that's ever really scare scared me- a made for tv special called "Bang Bang, you dead"Which involves much shootings and attempts to destroy people because of exclusion form any of the high school caste system. It couldn't have helped that while we watched this, I was sitting up front andthe guns were constantly pointed at about where I sat. I shivered the most I ever have, I cried, and so forth... I hated having to see the movie, but I was glad too, becuase it showed me sutff which helped me set my opinions on the outcast matter in stone. Probably one of the reasons I will never go by my own handsnor by asking anyone to do the deed either.
Got yelled at for playing the drums at 8.30, which I do normally on sundays... thing is I really needed to pound something as an outlet for stress and anxiety that came over me last night and overnight.... I figured I'd write, as there is nothing better to do.
I can't watch television. Oh No. it's not Thanksgiving, and Christmas commercials are starting appealing with 'home for the holidays' and 'spend holidays with your one true love'.It's hallmark, fake, and plastic... trust Christianityto wind up with the greed holidays. Like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day. It's not about the theme, the message, it's all about forking over cash to whatever industry can provide what someone desires in the material plane.
Let me be one of the few... I want Michele for Christmas, and while the Material things are nice, SCREW THEM. No one has to get me anything! I don't need it at all! I have more than many, and I will be happy with it! All I want is that Love which I am sure to recieve.... no, that's not true... I still Want material things... it's that all I needis that love,especially from my love, Michele. Love You.

That said, peace, and if a guy in a ginger bear suit shows up at your door, don't worry, I'm a hypocrite- I've volunteered to entertain little kids. It sounded like fun at the time, and it sounds like fun now. Plus, it won't be cold...-_-

2003-11-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

mark me well, friends. never talk a crazy chinamen (no offense,I only mean Li) straight in the IM.

Locke0502: HEy can U do a psychology test for me?
YusakuOtonashi: sure
YusakuOtonashi: what?
Locke0502: What's your favortie color? Why?
YusakuOtonashi: Blue. It's like the sky.
YusakuOtonashi: the sky is freedom.
Locke0502: ok, What's your favorite animal and why?
YusakuOtonashi: Rabbit. Hazel and Fiver from watership down inspire me and made me cry.
YusakuOtonashi: (Psych homework, Li?)
Locke0502: something like that
Locke0502: Whats your favorite body of water? why?
YusakuOtonashi: lake Eerie. becuase a fish mentions it in the cartoon version of the Lorax "I hear things are just as bad up in lake Eerie"
Locke0502: last question.
What do you think of a white walled room like? Please describe.
Locke0502: erm ignore the like.
YusakuOtonashi: Insane Asylum, padded walls, perhaps a two way mirror. straight jackets, and blood stains. like the beginning to American McGee's Alice
Locke0502: btw can u be more descriptive about lake eerie? besides seeing it in a cartoon. erm
YusakuOtonashi: One of the finger lakes in New York, upstate. full of water and pollution
Locke0502: ok -_- well it sorta fits u
Locke0502: U view urself as a free man.
Other people inspire you and erm make you cry?You view sex as full of it and diseased. and u think death islike the beginning to American McGee's Alice
YusakuOtonashi: WTF?
Locke0502: yea -_- crazy
Locke0502: works for some ppl
Locke0502: like Nathan
YusakuOtonashi: heh... what's his say?
Locke0502: hold on for a sec
Locke0502: He's very unique.
Other people think he looks old and neat.
He thinks sex is big.
And erm he thinks death it boring

2003-11-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

H "aceface" W is the new cool.
H "aceface" W is the new school.
He mixes Prog and Jazz and Blues,
with Greigish touches he is the news.
Progression Nouveau is the term of choice,
learn it well and strain your voice-
shout for his forming quintet,
Offense, disgusting MusicArt yet.

2003-11-19T13:57:00.000-08:00

Since I know you read the first post first, I will write as if this one came first. The purpose being that I intend all comers to this blog to read these two very important posts. (If you do not think these are important, your a. stoned or b. really stoned . I will not say that the opinion you express on these posts is Unamerican. There is nothing more American than expression.)

The Federal Bureau of Investigation, while not chasing aliens or wondering why the last few seasons of that series sucked so much, have in their finate wisdom decided to start a DNA profile database of juvinile offenders that have not been, or were not convicted.
FBI may collect Juviniles DNA

Tell me if you don't see big brothers all watching presence gracing this country....
But that's not all... OH NO:

2003-11-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

It comes as no surprise that the news of forced enlistment comes from the SSS. the only surprise in that is addition of one letter. The performance plan which outlines the 1004 budget looks grim. Take a good looke at it Here Take a look at this section: Strategic Objective 1.2: Ensure a mobilization infrastructure of 56 State Headquarters, 442 Area Offices and 1,980 Local Boards are operational within 75 days of an authorized return to conscription.

Strange that this would be in the budget?? With Bush, our War Hero in office? The same one who went AWOL (I won't claim this a fact until I dig up the primary source.) ? Why does he get to live and we get to fight and die? The borders are obviously going to close, if they aren't already. Fortunately, the way the draft works if I've read correctly, it starts at 20 year olds, then goes to 21 then 22 then 23 and so forth. If this is true, it gives me two years to get a green card in some other country.
(I hear Ireland is nice....)

-I don't wanna get drafted, don't wanna die in no foxhole-
Frank Zappa, I don't wanna get drafted.

2003-11-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

I thought I might rewrite my suicide rant again, since some of us have been thinking about it- the abstract- recently.

I am a Hamlet... but also, I am afraid. Afraid of death. Too attached to the material world.
And sometimes it is a weary place, and I want to melt away, to die. But no knife nor gallows nor gun nor anything appeals to me. They scare me all... Drowning would be better, but still it scares me still. It is not time time to leave yet. And believe me, it shall not be for a long time.
What keeps us from death? I have recently been reading a webcomic called JACK (Yes, it is furry but that's not the point. The point is that this is how it is, and how humans can or cannot deal with the everafter.) We are scarred of that 'Undiscovered Country'.
I am proud to have that fear. Fiercely proud. It means that even when I have nothing, I can continue. I don't ever want nothing, though. It hurts too much. I know. The proof is that I almost grew a beard last year- it was just summer and I shaved it back off because it was getting to hot. I suppose it's like "Having the Flu for Christmas" like in the Steven Stills song 'Almost Cut My Hair.'

Today for me was grey, yes. I missed something, someone and I am no fool becuase I know who and why. But even if the worst should happen, I can keep on. There are memories to honor, and there's no use in dying before death comes. What it boils down to is the Monty Python song, from Life of Brian.
People should remember these cheerful words, becuase they have to keep living. There's no remedy for lacking life but to live more. "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

Tomorrow's Topic: Political Stance, Drafts, and DNA.

2003-11-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

I missed soemthing, someone today. I'm not a fool I know what it was. My dear Michele. Where were you, if you can read this? I hope nothing has befallen you as my mind is given to thinking about the worst. I'm sorry.

2003-11-16T21:16:00.000-08:00

pathetic

What is your reason for suicide?(with images)
brought to you by Quizilla
You will commit suicide because you have too much
expected of you, and you just wanna be with
your friends, you will do it with an overdose.

What is your Suicide Ballad?
brought to you by Quizilla

Guilt Trip: Your suicide letter will be one long
guilt trip, possibly aimed at your parents or
your ex. Your consolation is that the
person/people you are guilt tripping will be in
therapy, most likely for the rest of their
lives.

What Kind of Suicide Note Will You Leave?
brought to you by Quizilla

Arch Enemy - The Immortal

Unable to cope
with life, however, unable to die. You
desperately want to die, however you've been
cursed with the "gift" of eternal
life. Sometimes we all want to die, you just
can't. Yea, life sucks.

"Crying
at the Fountain of Youth,
Eternal life is
killing me!"

What song should be your suicide anthem?
brought to you by Quizilla
Okay, You are SUPER depressed. You might commit
suicide. I don't know what happened, but it was
obviously bad. I am sorry for you, but you need
to pull yourself out of that hole! Someone
needs to tale serious action! You need some
love and care!

Would you EVER commit suicide?
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2003-11-16T18:40:00.000-08:00

Quizzes that scare me:
You welcome Death. You aren't the least bit afraid
of death and want this all to end as soon as
possible. You dont like this world (I dont
blame you) and you just want to stop.

Are you a Death Addict? (welcome Death into your life like me)
brought to you by Quizilla

You seem reasonable... I'll allow you to live.
Hmm... You seem kind of depressed:-\ maybe you
should get out more... or something... you
deserve to live... don't kill yourself

Are you deserving of death?
brought to you by Quizilla

You subconsciously prefer death by drowning in root
beer. You fall into the same category as all
the other people that wish to drown in
something edible. Fat. Run a few laps every
once in a while, if you can keep your heart
from exploding. Fat person. Fatty.

What is your subconsciously preferred means of death?
brought to you by Quizilla
WHAT
THE
FUCK?

2003-11-13T23:27:00.000-08:00

Just read Erich Segal's Love story.
I'm panicky and jittery...
perhpas not the best person to be around at all....
I'm feeling low nights, I need to move in with someone to hold me...

2003-11-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

Suicide Notes of Famous People dying words

In addition^. Why do I hate the play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe? I see myself in it. My heart is not to break...I cannot handle it more. And lead is not for me. I am of sterner better stuff; the valour that see's daggers plunged. yet I spare a moment- I fear death, the option riddling my mind.
Why am I saddening myself?
I don't know. This is the worst thought, to become hell itself. I dare look upon the devils dreams and realise I am one. I gladly accompany him now. Like Poe says...

Like Poe Says...
"Lord help my poor soul."

I know I should not be the one in pain; many more have worse lots than I. But I cannot help feelings. If I could, all pain would be soothed, all would be right.
I should go take a shower, calm down....
But that's not me right now. I will I will,
but this insense keeping me company, biding it's time until it too dies, is the greatest reminder of all meaningles- we are meant to burn and burn and nothing else.

2003-11-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

Gravestone Quotes Epitaphs of Famous People Tombstones

And who will write mine, having stepped on the stone of years? hen I'm gone will anyone care? Who will I have touched? the smoke flies upward and dissapears....I have to burn out: but all I do is fade away. Would I Be Providence like Lovecraft? would I be loved, truly loved? I want to be remember, but mostly to find some grace. I have hardly any...perhaps you could lend some of yours?

2003-11-12T21:19:00.000-08:00

"Nothing, Sirs," Said the wise man, "Is worth living or dying for. There is life and death but we only exist. We are but humans, small part of the cosmic cogs. In essence, even if we all dissapeared something would replace us. So lay down yourarms, and take up the dirt: let us dig our grave."

2003-11-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

I got a book otday, written in 1970. They made it into a movie and I suppose it's kind of famous, having had nine months as a best seller.called 'Love Story'. There's hockey in it and it's at harvard...I think...I have a book to read for class, insense to burn, spaceing out to groove to.

2003-11-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

I love insense. The way it smells sure... I got some 'Grateful Dead' type today. right now I'm burning 'Out of Body'. It is flickering and dancing to the Dead songs I'm playing. it knows what it was bread on. breathing in the smoke is wonderful too: You can taste the love that the world should have.
STOP WAR START FUCKING.
That's what we need.
And a planet for the new kids.lovely billowing smoke.
Like hendrix and strange beautiful earth.

2003-11-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

Numbed
Gods, I am in paranoia,
I can't feel but nothing.
There is no hope beyond my dreams,
that come crashing, torn down in all the seams.
So long away the feelings I used to know,
across the sea and under water to death and drowing
that is the way the wind and cold Tain tells me to go.
Will you gods free me,
I don't want to be encased.
Gods please talk to me
tell me the trauma I face.
Tears and fears have come to pass,
and here in this ditch I rest at last.
Maybe some will mourn,
my mouth spits the brine to them.
No one cares for me,
in reality-
It's a put on,
let down,
cover up:
I'm just some substitute,
and as the stand-in I die for whom it was deserved.
I die, and numb the pain I feel is distant.
I can take the cold as I care not for me.

2003-11-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be a little depressed tomorrow, I know it.
I shouldn't be, and I don't want to: But I will.
It's not that I can't handle it, It's just that I've change for something,
something out of my reach- and it's constantly causing me drama.
I don't hate it or dislike it or anythin for that-
it is myself I hate for the weakness of tears that flow to freely to be simple needed.
Trouble is I'm never asked before it's decided, I just happen to get my words in later which only spares the pain until the next time.

On a related matter: people need to remember that I have their blog addresses if their going to be talking about me.

2003-11-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

ah! Link to Gaia up over there *Points* Yeah.... Sweet place. I'm SurrealMod there, no surprise. My avatar rocks. But right now it's not letting me see my private messages...sad.
No doubt I soon will be popular there. I become a celebe on most forums I visit.
ANyone remember DnD online at Bar-Com.com? I was Hdude999 and commanded respect by refusing to take sides on a ridiculous dispute. Heh.
Well just posting ta post. Ja Matta.

2003-11-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

Ohayo Gozaimasu!
O-Genki Des Ka?

That's right. Happy day.
TTYL, or not. whatever I want.

2003-11-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

Don't pretend that you know me, I don't even know myself

I had to go to this psychiatrist every week. Every Monday. He never really knew what was wrong with me. He said I wasn't mad or anything. He said there's no such thing as madness. I told him he should try standing in a queue at Brentford football ground on a Saturday morning, I thought it might change his mind. My dad put it another way. He said I changed like the weather. One minute I'd be a tearaway, next minute all soppy and swoony over some bird. Schizophrenia, he called it. Nutty, my mum called it.

It used to be alright at home. My dad would get pissed out of his brain every single night, and when the telly finished he'd storm out of the house like a lunatic to get to the Eel and Pie shop before it closed. He'd come home with enough for an army. I never liked the eels, just the pies and mash, and the liquor. My friend Dave said that eels live on sewage. My dad must be full of it, he used to eat five bleeding cartons of eels a day. I don't think he ever twigged I was doing five cartons of leapers every day. Each to his own sewage. The rows at home started when I got back from the trouble at Brighton. I'd slept on the beach and me suit was ruined. I really cared about my suit, all my clothes, even though my mother said I didn't care about anything. My mother's terrible when she's had a few Guinesses. Not that she'll ever settle for a few. As soon as I said I was leaving she started rejoicing like the war had just ended. I was a mountain of paranoia. Coming down off leapers isn't much fun. You can put it off by having more just as you start feeling bad, but it only makes it worse in the end. Pills used to make me see things. They used to make me feel great, like Tarzan. But I think I saw life the way it was. People couldn't hide from me when I was leaping. My shrink used to have a sign on his wall to make you laugh. It said that a paranoiac is a person who has some idea what is really going on. That was me on leapers.

I pissed off after I'd slept off the come-down. I got me suit cleaned at the automat and spent two hours pressing the pissing thing. It never did look quite right. I took my parka as well, in case I had to sleep rough. I got a shitty couple of nights sleep under Hammersmith flyover. There only seems to be about five minutes in the night when there ain't some flash bastard in a sportscar g around outside waiting for them to come out. When they did they never bloody well recognised me. I shouted and one of them turned round and said "How are you doing?", like he remembered me. "Working?" he said. I hate it when people say that. Course I wasn't working, I was still at fucking school.

Next day I got a job, as a dustman. Now I know why people say "Working?" to one another. Nine quid for a full weeks filthy work. They stuffed it, I left after two days with two quid in me pocket. Two of the blokes there were talking about striking for more money, but most of the geezers there bad been working for the council for years. They looked upon it as some sort of church. The mayor as the Pope. One bloke has medals for being a war hero and he didn't have the guts to strike for more pay. They were all clean though, after hours.

There's a part of me that hates people. Not the actual people but how useless they are, how stupid. They sit and stew while the whole world gets worse and worse. Wars and battles. People dying of starvation. Old people dying because their kids have got their own kids and they ain't got time. That's what makes me smash things up. My shrink says I ain't mad. He should see me when I'm pissed.

I don't know what clicked inside me, but I got fed up with sleeping under the flyover. The weather was terrible for a start. Two rainy nights and that was it. I really started to fancy going back to Brighton. I still had about two hundred leapers left, kept me company. What was really weird was seeing this bird that I really liked, I even had her on the beach at Brighton. Two in a sleeping bag is really cosy until you're finished. Anyway, she was with my mate Dave. Him! She walked right past me after a dance at the Goldhawk. The girl of my best friend and all that. It did me in. It was like the last straw. The real last straw was yet to come, I was so brought down, I smashed me G.S. up in the pissing rain. I can't bear to think about it. I walked to the station down the railway tracks, across the river. I felt like throwing myself in front of a train, but I didn't. I took about twenty leapers at once, got a first class ticket to Brighton and set off to my land of dreams.

I did some thinking on the train. At one point I could swear I was floating about in the carriage, looking down at these two city gents. What was weirdest about it was that I could see myself as well. Must have been the pills again.

Brighton is a fantastic place. The sea is so gorgeous you want to jump into it and sink. When I was there last time there were about two thousand mods driving up and down the promenade on scooters. My scooter's seen the last of Brighton bloody promenade now, I know that. I felt really anonymous then, sort of like I was in an a As it seemed they were going to get caught anyway they stopped and turned to meet their fate. All hundred of these kids I was with stopped dead. I was the first to stop, but the rest ran, so I had to follow. There's nothing uglier than a Rocker. This ace face geezer wouldn't have run. He smashed the glass doors of this hotel too. He was terrific. He had a sawn- off shotgun under his jacket and he'd be kicking at plate glass and he still looked like he was Fred Astaire reborn. Quite funny, I met him earlier today. He ended up working at the same hotel. But he wasn't the manager.

I never ever felt like I blasphemed. You know, in an old fashioned sense. But I was in a pretty blasphemous mood when I left for Brighton. Brighton cheered me up. But then it let me down. Me folks had let me down, Rock had let me down, women had let me down, work wasn't worth the effort, school isn't even worth mentioning. But I never ever thought I'd feel let down by being a mod. I pinched this boat, first time I'd ever been on a boat at sea. I had another few leapers to keep from coming down and I felt a bit bravado. So I headed for this Rock out off the coast. It was sticking up very jagged, but very peaceful. I didn't know then what I was up to, but I know now.

Schizophrenic! What a laugh. It must be alright to be plain ordinary mad. About halfway over I took a swallow of this Gilbeys gin I'd bought. Booze never did help me much though. On the boat it did me right in, specially on top of the pills and the come-down. Anyway, the sound of the engine turned into this drone, then the drone turned into a sound like pianos or something. Like heavenly choirs or orchestras tuning up. It was really an incredible sound. Like the sort of noise you'd expect to hear in heaven, if there is such a place. I pinched myself and I wasn't really drunk anymore. I was floating. I felt really happy. I must have looked bloody stupid as it happens. I was waving me Gilbeys around in the air and singing in tune with the engine. The sound got better and better, I was nearly delirious when I got to the Rock. I switched off the engine and jumped onto it. When the engine stopped, so did the music. And when that beautiful music stopped, I remembered the come-down I had, I felt sick from the booze, the sea was splashing all over the place and there was thunder in the distance. I remembered why I'd come to this bastard Rock.

So that's why I'm here, the bleeding boat drifted off and I'm stuck here in the pissing rain with my life flashing before me. Only it ain't flashing, it's crawling. Slowly. Now it's just the bare bones of what I am.

A tough guy, a helpless dancer.
A romantic, is it me for a moment?
A bloody lunatic, I'll even carry your bags.
A beggar, a hypocrite, love reign over me.

Schizophrenic? I'm bleeding Quadrophrenic.

(No one in this story is meant to represent anyone either living or dead, particularly not the Mum and Dad. Our Mums and Dads are all very nice and live in bungalows we bought for them in the Outer Hebrides.)

(from Quadrophenia.net, and in turn, from the liner notes to the Who Album.)

2003-11-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

well, since I am HTML incapable I changed my schedule to Web Design third quarter. And next quarter? AP...*blecch* A Block.... C Block, Biology. D Block, Off. And B block? ready to be scareded?
I am taking Child Developement. While I dont' hate kids, I fearthose of today... kids are becoming more and more hyper, and more and more escapists. I hope that isn't evolution, for humanity to become what it is characterized as in movies and books. Anyways, I know a guy in the class so it's all good. And third quarter I make my enterence into knowing more about computers than I thought I should: visual basic. Laugh at me, sure. I had to get help fixing this new template. *looks at Michele* And thank you for that. Love You. I'm ranting for a rants sake, becuase I keep being pooked and prodded into more writing. I don't mind at all... Back to my main flow: I'm not fucked for credits any more. Well, I shouldn't be. Quater 4 will be, as far as is known open B Block, but online personal psychology. and D block Foods/Fitness. Not so keen on the second part, But I need to learn how to cook.
Academia second semester? AP... and Geometry. I'm sorry, I'm an art type not a math type.

2003-11-06T06:40:00.000-08:00

New design. I stole it somewhere around the web but they said it was okay. thanks to Templates for Free. Few more adjustments and I'll be back up to critical mass.

2003-11-05T18:09:00.000-08:00

*giggle* Guess who! ^-^ Michelle has logged in *smirk* Anyway, helping Harrisonness with his HTML work... orrrr trying to hehe, bored and tired. Anyway. I decided to post this because... I'm bored! ^^ Later!

*cough**twitch* Nevermind. I tried and couldn't get it to work. Too many different tables and spaces and margins and GAHH!! >.> <.< I'm gonna go insane now.

H's Note: Let's all just ignore that huh? I did not give her the password to my account. Thank god I have no secret blogs....

2003-11-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

Blog is killed. I'll need help fixing it. Anyone want to design me something as good as what I had before...or better? (Totally incompetent I am)

2003-11-05T16:40:00.000-08:00

Should I redesign? Thoughts?

2003-11-04T17:15:00.000-08:00

The Wall.
A Masterpiece. Critically Acclaimed.
And the disaster that is creeping this generation.
We are the Fucked up Generation.
We come after X,
so we are Y? Are we the Male generation?
no!
We are the Why God Generation.
Nothing goes our way, and we are in our hardest part of life: High School, teen years.
This generation has built on the drug addictions and tragedies of the past ones.
Suicide seems for some the best choice than ever.
I say again: DON'T.
If God was dead so long, WHY does he torment us, like Job's in our own right? He should be sued! We don't deserve this!
BULL.
Mankind is the most immoral of all and deserves punishment. the individual thinks 'Why Me?; 'Why not Him'. Becuase there is one secret to the world: God doesn't give a fuck.
This is all an expiriment. and Man, too must experiment... or so Thoreau would say.
Again thsi is wrong: Man must conclude that HE IS GOD, in his MIND.
Who is the imaginer, though? Is it you or me? Is it your lover and you? all.
Society is what brings the world's revoltuions and turnings. The cogs of the mondial clock, a biological computer, like Adams inferred with white mice, need to fit together.

What Happens when One Doesn't?
We Wall Him or Her Off.
To feel left out, and pain, is a death worse for some than the real one.
But what keeps some of us pained here?
Messiahness? Prophecy?
no! It is 'That thought of an undiscovered country, after death'
And those who try to wall off, Like Dr. Leary,
find they must tune back in ALL NEED LOVE.

What the world needs is love,
and lot's of it.

Generation Why- Tell me your pains. Breathe deep and whisper your secrets. It is never as bad as the worst it could get. Remember that.

2003-11-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

Brrr. Cold.
I project this to be a painful week for most.... It has started awfully, and shall most likely continue to stay in this damnable pit.
Let me look to some hope from Shakespeare: "At worst things will cease, or else climb upwards again to what they were." I do hope for the latter.

And I'm feeling low. I might give my epic poem another go another part of Battle Moderna, which is always wrote during depression. I am given no signs of life and I sit in this house all alone... Iebing to worry that everyhing but where I am is an illusion...this paranoia almost drives me to tears.

2003-11-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

Two People told me to post, so I am: Under prostest. I keep it fairly updated even on sabaticals that I take often, UNLIKe one NAYNO in his Blog. Halloween:

Wasn't that fun... I went out trick or treating though I felt a bit odd, being a Junior and all that. I woulda come to the party, but certain people are no fun at all... anyways I dressed as a vampire, and had to use crappy teeths- I tried to get some of those pro ones, with the puuty but that was nasty. At least I had a good makeup artist.

Missing Roleplaying: I wanted to see Michele, so I went over to her house for a Movie.
Sunday: Well, that's private.

And today was school which was awful. I woke up much to late so I was in a state of Ughness all day. The good portion was Michele- the worst was class.

2003-10-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

Greg Monk's wrote this fictional history of the musical instrument the Mellophone. it can be found Here, but I've posted it below. All Copywrite belongs to the owner.

The History of the Mellophone

[Mellophone- a poorly made musical instrument with a tone similar to a
flatulent ox, and resembling the French Horn, though in mirror image].

In 1850, Hermann Koenig first proposes the creation of the mellophone to members of the French Society of Horn Manufacturers. Hermann fatefully mistakes the ensuing disinterested silence as dumbfounded enthusiasm, and so begins his pointless efforts to create an instrument no one gives a rat's arse about.

In 1855 he presents his father, Ludwig, and his three brothers, with the fruits of his labours. His father and his siblings gleefully begin testing the range of Hermann's misbegotten creations by throwing them at varying distances into the Seine river, telling him that they already have a room full of perfectly wonderful instruments made by their good friend, Adolphe Sax. "Besides," his father tells him, "these wretched things have the appearance of a French horn that was put together wrong!"

Undaunted, Hermann hires a cannoneer to fire rounds over the Seine in a bid to rescue his creations. It's not until an irate constable informs him that such tactics are only good for raising human remains that Hermann finally swallows his pride and wades into the river to retrieve them.

He soon discovers that the waterlogging his instruments received has given them the distinctive tone they now produce. Angry now, covered in sewage, he tosses his creations into a sack and returns to his family.

The Koenig family, however, want nothing to do with Hermann, as they are sitting down to supper, and he is giving off a rather offensive odour. But as Fate or Fortune would have it, at that moment his grandmother falls rumbling and convulsing to the floor, filled dangerously with gas, due to the vast quantities of cheap French wine, boiled cabbage and pig's feet she has consumed. A neighbour is called who is a doctor, but as he doesn't have his medical instruments at hand, he looks around for the next best thing, and spots Hermann's creations in a corner of the room, still in their sack.

Not knowing or caring the purpose for which they were created, the able doctor grabs a
mellophone at random, rolls the grandmother over and lifts her skirts, shoves the mouthpiece where no man has gone before (or, wisely, since), and that is the moment when history was made!

The historical record tells us that the ensuing blast was heard as far away as Kiev, where the worried semi-feudal inhabitants began girding themselves for battle with some unknown foe; London's Bow Bells began swinging wildly in the thunderous gale; passenger pigeons, which were especially susceptible to that frequency, dropped every last one of them to the ground, dead as last year's Christmas goose, a look of stunned bemusement on their faces; a host of ships were lost, caught in the only known tidal wave to rock the English Channel; and last but not least, the roof of the Koenig house was never seen again, right along with Hermann Koenig's grandmother and the
doctor, who was last seen clinging to Hermann's creation as the old lady purportedly became the first man-made object to break the sound-barrier.

For his part, Hermann spent the next several days locating his father and three brothers. He found them miles away, wandering about, dazed, deaf, and surprisingly receptive to suggestion.

For the next several years, fear of Hermann's creation overcame people's reservations about this misbegotten instrument. Sales were brisk, and Hermann's father and siblings, despite their deafness, dutifully promoted Hermann's mellophone to frightened people, who purchased the instruments, no doubt to be rid of Hermann's unwitting henchmen. And fifty years later, the United States military, upon hearing rumours of the destructive force of this instrument, purchased tens of
thousands of them from Hermann Koenig, who by then was living in exile in their very midst, fearful of reprisals should he return to his native Europe.

Yet in the rural countryside of Europe and the United States, fear and superstition generated by the mellophone wrought havoc. The first unfortunate soul to be burned at the stake for suggesting that the mellophone was a musical instrument was I. Claudius Frump, in the city of London, October, 1918. A number of suspects were brought in for questioning, but as they were all members of the British Horn Society, the charges were summarily dismissed.

This incident seemed to signal the beginning of the end for the mellophone. Over the next 12 years the mellophone ceased to be a major force, and was abandoned by the US military.

Yet heretics persist to this very day, preserving, trading, and mastering these instruments in secret. These covens are so well concealed that no one, including the covens themselves, know that they exist. And it is known that a sect of the British Horn Society has dedicated itself to discovering and destroying these covens and their instruments. Yet though they claim success, it has not been demonstrated that they've captured or destroyed a single mellophone since their inception in 1919.

Therefore, officially, despite all attempts to erradicate it, the mellophone still poses a threat to the world of music.

2003-10-26T20:45:00.000-08:00

God help me, I'm dressing as a Vampire for All Hallows Eve. Not to be confused with VANPYRES. I thought about Pumpkin and Watermellon vampire too...But I can't afford big enough pumpkins or watermellons. I'll just get glowily fangs. Until I am one. Working on that too.... Anyone wanna spot me money for a ticket to the Mid-East to look for Cain?

Yeah, Just thought I wouldn't say anything but post anyways, becuase yeah.

2003-10-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

I envy it too. Only Impersonally do I have it.
Only if I have dozens of cheering fans, or at least scores of amused on lookers am I open or can I do something. In response to Teith.

2003-10-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

ON SUICIDE
Yes Great and Happy 'Moddy' has thought it.
I will reiterate it like I have done before.
HAMLET, in his conclusion is correct.
The life is not done until God wills it.
Do not believe in God? Then Fie!
There must be one for such tragedies to happen.
it is a test from God to see our strengths.
We need not believe but only in morality.
And morality is a human construct:
without it we would murder and rape all around.
Some God, in infinate wisdom, must have placed the sense.
So! Sucide, while in my means is not an option.
Never will be. There is another reason against it:
I FEAR DEATH. I am proud to admit it, I have the human fear.
I am base, common. My legs tremble with tragedy.
I cannot look at casket and hear sermon without I weep.
Emotion runs deep in one such as I, Taurus ruled by Venus.
Love in all it's seasons means the hate of end to love: Love may come after death, and yet we may forget that we loved over time, gradually.
This I am afraid of. If someone were to love me, I shant hurt feelings and fade too.
And again I weep. I do not cut burn, or outwardly mutilate. I burn my soul.

2003-10-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

Classic School Game.from Here.

You will live in House.
You will drive a yellow VW Van.
You will marry Michele and have 6 kids.
You will be a God in Scotland.

Happyness...

2003-10-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

A Normal Post.
*Useless complaint about homework*
*Weepy Philosophy*
*Poem/Lyrics*
*Tragic Conclusion*

2003-10-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

ooo. It's that John Mayall song. you know the one that goes 'Do-do-do do-do-do-do-do do-do-do-do' on the blues harp. and has the solo in the middle. Yeah. Just writing so It doesn't seem like I'm all quizes.

2003-10-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

Which deadly sin do you represent? (Angel Sanctuary Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.

"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.

As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, I went to homecoming. and yes, like Nayno said, it was a poor delusion of France. French Rap is Good, for one. Also, I think La 'Ville Lumiere' would be offended by being represented by long rolls of black contsruction paper. But what do I care, Paris isn't in France according to the rest of it. Paris themselves think that they are the only part of France. Odd how we believe them rather than the yeoman farmes and people who work the land. Anyways, just thought I'd post..

2003-10-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget.

What inner color are you?

Quiz by Shirono

Took this before, but it has changed, I believe.

2003-10-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

Blog Trolls are back, but I doubt they will do much. They are more lethargic than myself, and under claims of drunkeness hide the shallow souls and cliches they are.
Good Morning Trolls. Liven my Blog Up, huh?

2003-10-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

*Your soul sings to you* Whether music, art, or
literature that is your muse. You may not be
well known but you are truly loved by your
fans. Don't stop moving forward in your
art, all things will come together and when you
change things they will form and build your
talent.

Which Soul Do You Possess?
brought to you by Quizilla

Concerning this God Fellow.
I am he as you are me as we are one together,
the song goes.
It is god, and we are god but for the fualt we cannot believe it.
Being gods we fool ourselves into mortality,
much like those of Greece and Rome and Egypt.
All gods behaved foolish, like mortals.
For all gods are mortals,
and alll humans are god.
We just may not prove it to ourselves.
Egomania is perhaps the most correct view of it all.

2003-10-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

In Japanese, there is a word for the third day of the month, to specifically denote it as the month's third day. o.0
Anyways, all is happy for most everyone. Shant say more, I am honor bound for a week not to. BUt I'm loving Michele and Life and Happy Days. I think the winter will be happier this year, perhaps.

Drink Utica Club, or I'll sing the songs. Heh. Ask Jeff....Maybe I'll do them in falsetto.....

2003-10-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

There are some things men were not meant to know.
This is one of them, hidden behind AI,
behind wires and servers is the mind of a madman.
The greatest of all evil-doers ever.
Shall he enlighten you, or leave you more dry?
A Whore's Whim, Said Sir Jim.

2003-10-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

I am a lovesick fool.
Today at school, not seeing my lovely angelic girlfriend, my stomach was torpid: Storm Tos'd like some ancient mariner after shooting a bird of peace. through storms it went, but there was one difference...
I found land, and the siren was my peace.
Upon seeing her, my mind was eased, my storm calmed.
There is another paralell, I feel my mind must make, and set down to all the worlds purview- to all the worlds scrutiny.
For some time I were 'Out of her favour, where I am in love' but from Roseline's discontent, a Juliet is soon sprung. Tis a simple comparison, and I to defy the stars, unless we are not cross'd but held up.

2003-10-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

Location: My Room
Occupation: Student
Height: Dunno
Weight: Dunno
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Started as blond. sorta brownish now.

CURRENT...

Current dress: t-Shirt,
Current make-up: I don't wear make-up, though I am a GIMP.
Current mood: Good, talking with an Angel.
Current taste: Rice Krispies Treats.
Current hair: See above, but also v. messy.
Current annoyance: Pop up ads claiming to get rid of spam and spam claiming to get rid of pop up ads.
Current smell: I smelled my Angel's hair today. It was grand.
Current longing: My Goddess in my arms.
Current thing I ought to be doing: Homework.
Current desktop picture: Hendrix with the Who
Current book: Shadow Puppets, OSC.
Current CD in stereo: Listening to shorten files of RAQ, don't have cd player on my stero.
Current DVD in player: None in player. Next one will probably be Le roi de Couer.
Current color of toenails: Ick. Ugly Question.
Current refreshment: Music, Tain, Life being good.
Current worry: My love may be too strong.

LAST PERSON...

You Touched? mon petit-amie
You talked to? Mother.
You hugged? Mich!
You instant messaged? Lover!
You kissed? I would like to....
You yelled at? Nayno, becuase I usually do even if I'm not treating the poor soul like dirt.
Who broke your heart? A big mess-up in my past. but I've repaired it well. Methinks it's even better than before.

FAVORITE...

Food: Entrecote Au Pouvre
Drink: Coke.
Color: Blue. Blue is awesomeness.
Album: Quadrophenia.
Shoes: Who Cares?
Candy: Um...Chocolateness as of the moment.
Animals: rabbits. Dogs. Badgers. Anything..... most every animal but insects. Although right now I don't like cats as much as I should, at least I feel that way.
TV Show: Zilch.
Movie: Tommy, Quadrophenia. Lotta Art Flicks.
Dance: Slowly, With Michele.
Song: Brother From Another Mother- RAQ. (Check em out)
Vegetables: Anything in Asian food.
Fruit: Unmushy apples.

ARE YOU...

Understanding? when it doesn't involve me.
Open-minded? I Try.
Arrogant? Often. I know my faults, though.
Insecure? I have a blanket, if you would term it such
Interesting? 'Beauty shall be edible or not at all'-Salvador Dali
Hungry? Little.
Friendly? TO Those who aren't below me *Aristocratic life views*
Smart? In a sense.
Moody? Pretty Sure I have SAD, and yes.
Childish? I Love them. Hope to have some someday.
Independent? Too Much for the Box of scholarly intent.
Hard working? If I have to be.
Healthy? Pretty Much.
Emotionally stable? Now I am, yes.
Shy? Oftentimes.
Difficult? Yes. It is difficult to get over my granduer isn't it?
Attractive: attractive enough.
Bored easily? Sometimes.
Messy? My Room Is all organised: I can find anything with ten minutes digging.
Thirsty? Not really.
Responsible? Only when I have to be mature.
Obsessed? With My Girlfriend.
Angry? UH-uh.
Sad? I'm not Piro
Happy? Quite content. Only a few things to mak elife better.
Trusting? With anything non-secrative
Ill? Nope.
Talkative? Insanely So, with people I know.
Original? I'm going to be an Theatre Major when I get older.
Different? *Glug*
Quirky? *Twitch* Not at all, ma'am.
Ignored? Try not to be,
Reliable? In a real situation that means something, hell yes.
Content? Mostly.
Optimistic? Sometimes.
Deep thinker? Genuis of Surreal Degree.
Self-disciplined? Lax.
Sleepy? Not Now.
Lonely? Only when Not with Tain.
Mortal? I have no reason not to believe I will live forevver until I die.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...

Kill? None, as of this date.
Shag? Bluntly, Michelle.
Slap? Dunno. Someone, no doubt, deserves a slap from me.
Get Really Wasted With? Myself, my Thoughts.
Tickle? My Angel
Look like? Moonie.
Be like? Dali crossed with Kieth Moon and Jack Keurac
Talk to? My Love, O' Course.

2003-10-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

Quiz time. Becuase I feel up to it.

You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.

How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who are you? No one would even know your name or
who you are. No one may even know what you
really look like. You would be known by a
series of names since you would go under many
aliases and have a number of disguises. You are
very clever and creative, and would almost
always be one step ahead of the authorities.
You would make sure no evidence of your
horrible murders would be left behind, and if
it is, no one would know it was you. You
sneaky, elusive person...authorities would have
hard time trying to catch you. You would
definitely be the mystery criminal. People may
not even know the your killings are all from
you. You would really be a threat to the
public.

What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're goin' down! FOR STALKING!

What Would You Go to Jail For? (Many outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
I happen to like the relationship I'm in jus' great.

"When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.

Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

SARCASM: Your humor tends to sarcasm. You win a lot
of arguments because you can find the
ridiculous-ness and error of anothers
arguments. You have a quick mind, and a razor
tongue. You are funny because the flaws in
other people are funny, and you point them out.
HONOR US WITH YOUR SHARP WIT AND JOIN:

http://pub98.ezboard.com/bkickbanned

How funny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. Friday, Tain wore me out. Saturday, I hung out with Tain, then with Jeff. Did Not go See Kill Bill as the line disheartened. then today, Tain and I, as well as Nayno and Teith went bowling. And now, I go to see Galactic in concert. What a weekend. TO bad no RPing. There will be none next week for me: I have to cram for PSATs on Saturday, which afterwords I'm being abducted and then forced to go to homecoming. Ah, Sweet Tain and her plots for me.

2003-10-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ah. What a nice night it was. I slept waaay later than usual, but I was unusually tired. heh.
well, just becuase i'm wearing a cape, i'll write a poem. Sound fair? Too bad, I'll do it anyways.

Dark, I surrond my eyes,
wings of balck fly to cover't
Feeling so noticed,
in such dark robes,
I fit not and yet I am happy.
What have I,
I have the sky and all the birds,
when I smile do die.

2003-10-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Public Apology

I. Whereas, One Nayno is Concerned, in breaking of confidence, an apology must be in order.
The deed done not so bad as death, or even torture, this is the best to be given, under the circumstances.
a. I, SurrealMod, Known As Moddy or any other Pseudnym, do heartily apologise for breaking Nayno's trust by giving out his secret blogs address to those who should see it. Those he writes about on it. In apology, I give Nayno full leave to for ONE MONTH be mad at my transgression, or until such time he gets over it *such time being earlier*.

Signed, this Saturday, October 10th, At 12:03 By SurrealMod,

2003-10-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

Quizzes, as I haven't for a while.

Are you a God? by Demonac
Name:
God/Goddess type:	God of Love
Worshippers:	Monks (think 36 year old virgins)
They show devotion by:	Blowing up followers of other faiths.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	You die in sweet bliss while having sex with your lover or partner. Seems they were so good your heart couldn't stand it and stopped. Talk about a heart breaker, but at least everyone sees you inyour casket with a smile of your face.
Death Date:	January 10, 2042
Number attending your funeral?	142
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$2,537,668

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Be An Anime Character by mangacatgirl
Character Name
Eyes	Brown
Hair	Pink Mohawk
Fashion Style	Mecha Fighting Gear
Attitude	Loving
Role	Jpop/Jrock Artist

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part Is	Everything
Special Talents Are	Stalking Your Prey

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Colin Farrell
Who will play your love interest:	Toni Collette
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	25
Song that will play during your love scene:	Poe - Angry Johnny
Song that will play during your death:	Stevie Wonder - They Won't Go When I Go
Your name:

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

What job will you hold in 5 years? by missmorality
Name:
Job:	Preacher
Your Opinion:	It sucks!
Years Kept:	1

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Don't you dare say anything about it.

Your Anime Life by kazoku
Your username
Gross income of creators	$7,036,062
Genre	Romance
Your role	Bystander
Your secret	You were a prince/princess in your past life.
Will you save the world?	No, your love interest ends up doing it.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Why would I die in a horror movie? by toxicninja
Name
Age
Gender
Killed by	throat cut
Killed because	you're greedy

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Who built your starship? by Nauta
Your name
Your ship	Furan
Commissioning date	February 18, 2529
Designed by	Gama (Sharks)
Innovative feature	Artificial intelligence
Design flaw	Elevator music in turbolifts

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Which Japanese word are you? by gokumew2
LJ Username
You are:	Kokoro (mind/heart)

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Last One.

What is Your Destiny? by Valcion
Name
Color
Birthday
Destiny	Savior of the human race
Date when you fufill your destiny	January 8, 2004

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

2003-10-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

Well Well Well, I am back. Here's my rant on funerals. Open Casket is WROOOONNNGGGG. Creamtion! Creamation! Let me become ash, take it literally 'dust to dust' without the sickening decomposure. And I would not become a zombie either. Scatter my ashes across the fields where both Bonzo and Moon are buried: and build me a gravesite where I will not lay, but invite as amansion for anyone to stay overnight.
Well, I'm back and safe, and await the next RP date, whenever that is.

2003-10-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

going to New York until thursday. Will miss GF. at least I get out of fulton/sherwin work for a while. I will eat REAL Dougnuts *Not this Krispy Krap* and have real cider for everyone in my social circles. i will also bring a leaf back. if anyone wants anything, too bad. I may get something for someone who isn't you. Heh. (Maybe I'll get a coolthing, like largo.) Oh, and if your checking Jeff, I obviously can't go to the concert tomorrow at Starker arts park, but go anyway: i'll be there in spirits. er, spirit. mmmm.....Hugs..... anyways, see y'all, and if we play friday, i'm in like a sin.

2003-10-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

I though I should once again bring it to every readers attention that i'm having such an extra-good day today that I loved the gray hanging over us. SO HAPPY IN FACT, that I wear the Scary Rave hat!

2003-10-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

Despite not reading the comics, or my horoscope, today was a very good day. This weekends gonna rock: i've got COMP tickets to a concert, roleplaying again *as far as we/I know* and...welll i'd best not say anything until the time is come. Also, a break from concessions. well, off I bound to read those elusive comics and that horoscope I would have benefited greatly from.

2003-09-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

romantic mood. And yet i'm a coward, probably more so than Nayno, for I will denounce his cowardice to hide my own. On Blogthis again, yup. I want: I want to hold a girl to my chest and stroke her gentle hair. *Sigh* yeah right, me? The closest I've ever got to touching a girl was acting. I am a gutless shrimp. always have been, but I hope not always will. Contradiction: I want to be rich, and display it to the world, create a museum house. I want a well to do women. I want it all, and yet I am an introvert but for show: if it is for dramatic action I can do about anything, but if not I am weak.
Theme From M.A.S.H. (Suicide Is Painless)

2003-09-29T19:45:00.001-07:00

and now...

A Haiku

The moment in time
I would take back with all its
leaves- the girl I'd win.

Followed, In their short lengths, by Romantic Poems. Yaay!

Her
silvery gold hair flowed,
down to the ground upon wich I tread,
my light feet lightly tapping the rythums I dance:
To dance I would, and die the day,
my love proclaimed for her- My muse unknown.
The shines of unresolved pains,
My heart goes out, and yet I am paused:
Curse this failing heart, curse it's doubt.

The

mysteries of the heart,
adle my brain,
falling apart,
cut, glass, hurt, pain.
My wounds are not yet healed,
and yet i must back unto the field,
for another round, this time to win:
For to loose and loose and loose is the ultimate sin.
Some people are bachelors by choice,
not I,
my pain is on my sleeve,
my heart I do cry.

My
pains are yours,
i project them far.
dear woman see them, and we shall weep together.

2003-09-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

and now...

Haiku

2003-09-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

Okay Guys and Dolls, it's H-dawg kickin it ANGST-STYLE time. insane angst. illogical angst, Probably Satanic too.
First, today was okay, I just wish I was a hell of a lot more decisive, and turned that the cute chick and asked her to dance. Bands were all good, especially Eleven Eyes.
I'm going to see Hill City Bus next saturday. I -should- get another ticket and a date. *Me? SLAP stop the negativety!!*
Anyways, I'm thinking Wicca again, which was a lowpoint of about a two weeks freshmen year where I read a book on it, pretened to understand it, then gave up for Mythos, and believing only in the lessons of ancient civilaizations.
Okay, well not Wicca, but something worse: Witchcraft. I will call it by that name only becuase thats what the practioners wish it be called. Love spells. I've been looking at them, and thinking of trying them. It didn't help that I spent about an hour and a half in the Metaphysics and Magic sections of Borders. (although, I may make the asterix that a latter 15 minutes were spent on Ghosts and other Strange Phenomena.) The lasting affect of my brief flirt with Wicca is that I have 'The Rede' ingrained into my skull: 'An ye harm none, do what you will'
The thing, I think, that keeps me from it is the candles: I have none of the proper color, although it shouldn't matter, eh? That right, all the spells use components I can't use. So I will just have to rely on my self without any of this Magick; Except for maybe that of the bottle.

2003-09-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just read this.
"BOSTON (Reuters) - A pentecostal minister pleaded guilty on Thursday in federal court to robbing banks from Maine to Massachusetts of more than $10,000, law enforcement officials said.

Jerry Hayes, 52, of Hartford, Maine, was arrested in May after he gave a Massachusetts bank teller a note saying he was armed and demanded that all large bills be placed into a bag.

The note added: "Do not put any device into bag: paint, track, etc. If I sense an alarm is set: Someone will be hostage."

The teller gave the minister $2,550 in cash and a dye pack that exploded as he fled the robbery. Police later arrested him and found a loaded .38 caliber handgun on the floor of his car.

A subsequent investigation showed he had robbed four other banks in Maine, Massachusetts and New Hampshire, and that he was laundering the proceeds through an account in the name of the church where he was pastor, the Shema First Apostolic Assembly in Canton, Maine, federal prosecutors said.

Hayes faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine on each of the five bank robberies, to which he pleaded guilty before U.S. District Judge Reginald C. Lindsay. He is due to be sentenced in January. "

Got it from Yahoo

2003-09-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

SPAM WARS

Episode IV: A Brief, New Pr0n.

Long long ago, in a blog community far far away,
Evil Li began an assualt on the god-fearing people of Mark's roleplaying email list.
Young SurrealMod, Known as kke@dhampir.zzn.com and later as Yotsuyasan@hotmail.com began to combat Li, in a series of battles that took about a week. Eventually, Li, beaten into submission, and ignored by everyone lost interest giving SurrealMod the victory.
Today, SurrealMod, bored of the lack of challengers has started another Spam war, hoping to draw Li's interest and bring him back unto the fray. So far, a new challenger, Nayno is the only one to reply, and was easily countered by the age old trick, the pr0n list threat.
WHAT WILL BEFALL THEM NEXT?

2003-09-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, only gonna say it once, but this is it:
THERE WILL BE NO MORE TERMING OF MODDY. ONLINE I AM KNOWN AS SURREALMOD AND WILL BE REFERRED TO AS THAT (this esp. means you, NAYNO) OR GODAI IF YOU WANT TO BE SHORT ABOUT IT.
If you wish to reference my online sig. irl, then if it be shortened it be shortened to Surreal.
This has been a public service anouncement by SurrealMod.
Oh yeah, Jimmy's okay too, but in Quadrophenia context only.

2003-09-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was gonna wait until I had my plans better laid out, but I needed new content. Here it is: Jeff and I are going into the paranormal investigation world. Investigators and all that. The real deal. We need to study up a few mionths before a first case though, gotta know somrthing first eh?

2003-09-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Back from the Dead Show.
Forty-something Joan Osborne? Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.
and I mean hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. Okay, enough of that, now that i'm enlightened. Third song, Sefcond set, I finally understood it all. I know it. But It is not for me to explain but my mind tells me.

2003-09-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

ONce again, joiny! see below. School sucks. yadda yadda. :) peace.